Relief

Hello, my name is Velma and I like reading romance novels.

In my post "25 things from facebook", I mentioned that I like reading romance novels and felt guilty about it. I felt guilty because of the cultural perception of that genre as fluff with weak characters who are subjected to gratuitous happy endings. I felt guilty because I "should" be doing something better with my brain and my time. I felt guilty because as a women with a quality relationship, a successful job, a "higher" education, many interests and talents, and a life that is full and happy. I "shouldn't" get enjoyment from reading romance novels. I should get enjoyment from listening to more public radio, reading serious fiction, watching documentaries, and generally expanding my knowledge. These are socially accepted past times for a liberal, liberated, educated, successful woman.

If I'm so liberated and smart, why do I let the larger culture induce feelings of guilt for doing something I enjoy? And why do I enjoy romance novels in the first place?

I enjoy romance novels because I like romance. I like stories about relationships, love, growing as a person, and overcoming obstacles. I like happy endings. Romance novels reaffirm for me that generally everything works out OK in the end, which is one of my core beliefs that I need to be reminded of every now and then. I like to laugh and smile. Romance novels do this for me. Yes, it's true that not all romance novels are created equal, and that some are really bad ones that fulfill all of the stereotypes. More often than not, though, the stories are about strong, witty, successful, intelligent women who find love. Now, what's wrong with that? Nothing.

So, why are romance novels so dismissed in our culture and made to be something to feel guilty about for enjoying? Only romance novels have the universal "guilty pleasure" stigma attached to them. To get help answering this question, I turned to the all-knowing internet. I googled "benefits of romance novels" and "defense of the romance novel" and came across some good answers to my questions.

The best answer was written by Jennifer Crusie, romance author of books with great characters, plots and adventures. She wrote an essay titled "Defeating the Critics: What We Can Do About the Anti-Romance Bias". I highly recommend reading the piece in its entirety. Here is the basic gist of the essay:

"When I looked closer at romance fiction, I saw that it contested the beliefs of a lot of powerful groups. In fact, romance fiction has something in it to irritate anyone with rigid ideas of how life and literature should work and--most important--how women should act. It was then I realized why I loved romance fiction: it was not only entertaining and empowering, it seriously annoyed a lot of stuffed shirts.

"For example, romance fiction challenges the traditional patriarchal beliefs by saying that women are equal to men and that they should be as sexually knowledgeable as men, and then compounds that sin by showing that love is a powerful force that should be taken seriously.

"First, romance fiction says that women are primary not supporting characters, equal to men in power, intelligence, and ability....The result: romance fiction is called 'unrealistic.' Second, romance fiction often says that sex is vitally important to women....The result: romance fiction is called 'soft porn.' Third, romance fiction says that love is powerful and important....Result: romance fiction is called 'silly fluff.'

"But if romance challenges patriarchy, why is it so reviled by radical feminists? Because it challenges deeply held beliefs there, too. Good old romance: it's an equal opportunity debunker...."

To finish the essay, click here.

Other sites that talk about the romance novel:
College Candy - In Defense of Romance Novels - Part One
College Candy - Romance Novels Part Two: Are They Anti-Feminist?
Salon.com columnist David Pollard - The Romance Novel: Literature of Liberation
Smart Bitches, Trashy Books - On Happy Endings

After this research, I feel relieved from the guilt that had been bothering me. Yes, I do get the irony that I needed to hear about other people's experiences on the subject in order to feel better about my own experience. But, at least I had the gumption to seek it out.

And, maybe this post will help a few other lovers of romance come out of the closet too.

Hello, my name is Velma and I like reading romance novels.

25 things from facebook

1. I just read 25 things about 7 other people and found them interesting, so I'm writing some about me.

2. I think too much about what I want to say.

3. I have a blog that I've neglected for several months now. Maybe I'll copy Andi and post this there. It's velma.org if you haven't ever seen it.

4. I have three other domains. That's what happens when you move to Silicon Valley and date techies. The other domains are: gentzsch.net, madebyvelma.com, and markandvelma.net.

5. I quilt. I love working with fabric.

6. I garden. I don't think I'll ever be able to live in a place without dirt again.

7. I enjoy reading romance novels. I feel really guilty about this. Shouldn't I be doing something more productive with my time and brain cells?

8. I also enjoy chick flicks. I suppose even I need to give my brain a break every now and then.

9. I'm a burner. I'm going this year. I'm very excited.

10. I have four tattoos. One of them is my wedding ring.

11. I love where I work and what I do.

12. I have a big, white cat named Orson. He's an indoor/outdoor cat and is responsible for us knowing our neighbors. There are at least three other houses that he naps in on a regular basis.

13. We visited a farm last weekend. While someday I would love to live on a farm, I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't feel the need to move to one RIGHT NOW. Maybe it helped that they sent us home with a dozen fresh eggs.

14. I'm naturally an impatient, perfectionistic person. This doesn't serve me well, so I cultivate patience and gratitude. Sometimes I forget.

15. I'm also a recovering control freak.

16. My favorite place to hang out is my home.

17. We have four bookcases that are five feet wide by ten feet high. They're full.

18. I've successfully started two sourdough starters. I let them both die, though, because I don't really like bread.

19. I ate some salt-n-pepper ice cream today. It was good.

20. I miss seasons, especially fall.

21. I also miss swing dancing, but it starts past my bedtime.

22. Coming up with 25 things is a lot harder than I it would be.

23. After many years of practice, I've learned to appreciate the fine art of sleeping in and cat napping.

24. I'm not supposed to eat sugar, but I had a fancy candied orange donut today anyway. The same donut shop make maple bacon donuts. They're yummy, too.

25. It's time to make dinner now.